Yesterday it was hard to hold it back and today it is hard to let it go. Is it complicated? May be it is or yeah it is complicated.
It is irresistible. I have been through both the phases and both were terrible failures though. Yesterday I was the victim and it was hard for me to hold it back. I tried and tried a lot but too difficult it was. It moved away released from my hard clutches and I couldn’t hold it. It just moved away beyond my sights and beyond my senses.
Today I am the offender. Everything is in my hand. I just need to loosen my grasp and let it go. But today too it is difficult. Yesterday I was helpless but today I am not then why is it so difficult?
Am I being too selfish? May be I am but it is just irresistible. Yesterday I was hurt and today I am hurt too. Yesterday it was the tears of being victimized; beholding the pain of losing something and today it is guilt. It is guilt of holding it hard, guilt of not letting it go and it is guilt of being the offender.
Not sure about which is a better position. The position of a victim or of an offender. Just can say it is too hard to resist. My heart doesn’t listen to my senses and everything just happens. Don’t blame me for being the offender. It is not that I didn’t try. I did try but what to do it is just too hard to let it go.
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