Poetic Conversation between a sad girl and a jolly guy...

Few conversations are just special. This is one of them. It starts with the aim of irritating each other but ends with revealing few hidden miseries. While one opens her heart full of dead memories and past miseries, the other shares a consoling shoulder. This conversation just happen thus...

"A poetic conversation between a sad girl (G) and a jolly guy (B)":

(G): Floods of tears created a great ocean amidst my soul is sinking by and by ......

 
( B): thou shall then catch a small boat named hope and float along the sea of life

(G): in the desert of miseries and loneliness, hope is like a drop of water...my soul is thirsty...waiting for a miracle

 
(B): have the papaya juice of friendship and enjoy the sweetness that it pours into thy soul

(G):hundreds of friends i have, few are close too...yet m lonely, yet m silent..

 
(G):amidst the merry making crowd, there is someone crying, amidst cheering laughter, there is sobbing tears...i have a smile in my lips but my heart refuse to smile...

 
(B):O lonely bird, imprisoned in the mind cage thy itself created, spread the wings of heart, fly above the cloud of worries,indulge in the sweet fresh air of merriness, you will hear more laughter,less cries.....

 
(G):i flew and flew higher..in the air of love, the sky was lovely, the air was pleasant, carried away by emotions i was flying on and on...till my wings were cut and my eyes were bleeding...

 
(B): the feathers of hope thy bear,those tender things of love,clasped in the strong clutches of forged love, why fly into the wicked web of hope, why  not steer away.

The conversation thus ends. Though the sadness doesn't end in the girl's heart yet the boy definitely was able to lighten her heart and make her relax at least for some time.

It's hard to let it go....

Yesterday it was hard to hold it back and today it is hard to let it go. Is it complicated? May be it is or yeah it is complicated.

It is irresistible. I have been through both the phases and both were terrible failures though. Yesterday I was the victim and it was hard for me to hold it back. I tried and tried a lot but too difficult it was. It moved away released from my hard clutches and I couldn’t hold it. It just moved away beyond my sights and beyond my senses.

Today I am the offender. Everything is in my hand. I just need to loosen my grasp and let it go. But today too it is difficult. Yesterday I was helpless but today I am not then why is it so difficult?

 

Am I being too selfish? May be I am but it is just irresistible. Yesterday I was hurt and today I am hurt too. Yesterday it was the tears of being victimized; beholding the pain of losing something and today it is guilt. It is guilt of holding it hard, guilt of not letting it go and it is guilt of being the offender.

Not sure about which is a better position. The position of a victim or of an offender. Just can say it is too hard to resist. My heart doesn’t listen to my senses and everything just happens. Don’t blame me for being the offender. It is not that I didn’t try. I did try but what to do it is just too hard to let it go.

I need to change

I want to share with you a thought that strike my mind suddenly. How much is it necessary to speak out. Since childhood I have my own principles or you can say some strata of rules and it is difficult for me to come out of these so easily. I believe in telling the truth and I do that. My friends say “you should not say the truth always. We are not telling you to lie but you can hide few things”. My response always comes as “why should I?” Likewise I am not a silent girl but I talk less. That is my nature. Many times I feel this is a negative point in me. In today’s world in order to make your presence felt, you need to speak up and you need to speak aloud. So that people around you feel that you are present. You have knowledge but that is not enough, you need to speak about your knowledge in every step of your life, you work and that is not enough again, you need to noisily work so that everyone can hear the noise of your work. I do not speak but that never suggest my mind is blank and I have no idea of my surroundings. But the main thing is today’s world works in a different way. I will repeat my sentence: “you need to speak and you need to speak aloud”. The world is changing fast and with every single change you have to change yourself. I am a very static person. Sometimes I feel it hard to adjust myself with this fast changing world. I feel as if my principles are too outdated and it don’t stand anywhere in today’s world. Gone are days when a person will silently work throughout his or her life and the person’s work is valued, if not during lifespan, surely after death. But now the scene is different, people die without being recognized. I am afraid I might be one. I like to speak less and learn more which do not work in present time. Both things have to move simultaneously. I am not complaining, I am realizing that there are lot of things I need to work on and may be many out there like me need to do this. We need to make others feel we are present. I don’t know how much this will be possible but I have to try…in order to exist and I will try.

How much we observe?

Since the day of Adam and Eve, boys and girls are seen as two different species opposite in nature and everything existing. If boys are left, girls are right, boys love blue and girls love pink, girls are emotional and boys are not and many such things. Times have changed now and it is pretty difficult to distinguish between girls and boys with their appearance. You can look around the streets, girls are in jeans with short hair and boys are with long hairs wearing all sort of accessories available around their body. This is just a lighter viewpoint over the whole thing. Not just the appearance but the thinking process has much changed. People have stopped thinking with that particular end line tag of boy and girl. People are much advanced and the world is growing. But a slight deeper observance.How much this has changed? Girls may dress up in jeans and tees and roam in the streets with much confidence but after the sunset there is still the sense of insecurity hovering around. Girls are as advanced as boys in every field. A girl has a job, she is financially secure, she is well to do in everything then why is it necessary to take a certain amount of luxury added while going to her so called real home after marriage. Why is it necessary to call every married woman as Mrs.wife though she has an identity of herself. There are still people who smiles but miserly with the born of a baby girl. Bachelor is still a tag of pride while spinsterhood  comes with disharmony. When a man is a Phd holder he is Dr. man but when a lady is a Phd holder she is Dr. & Miss/Mrs. Lady. ( A real life example). When everyone believe in the trend of the growing henpecked husbands in the society, don't we think we are overlooking the society where husbands still bit his wife. When we are busy in the well developed cities running after money and luxury, are we over looking the thousands of houses where our modern ladies accepts compromises in every single step of life. Are we really growing when these things are still the same. Give a thought over it.

My 9 hours of a day

Hey every one, today i will write about the 9 hours of my every day. Oh! you might be confused, let me explain. I am talking about the special 9 hours of each day which allows Goddess Lakshmi to enter my bank account at the end of each month and settle there for the first 10 days at least. You got it right, my 9 hours at office. Everyday i enter my office at exactly 9 a.m. and enter the world of order and discipline. I sit in the same place around the same bunch of people and also in front of the same rectangle shaped system. I do the same work for the whole day. The worst part is people around me even behave the same way every day. They use a very typical and serious or you can say a very formal kind of language while addressing each other. I too try to give a very formal and artificial kind of "hi" to everyone. All 9 hours i sit straight in my seat and act to work very seriously in my system. You have to behave very decently and formally while walking, sitting and even smiling. I try very hard to maintain that restricted smile which very rarely turns to laughing in office. The only place where i can relax is the washroom. So in one sentence i can say it is a very boring life. Better to say a punishment in the name of life. Just for a few bugs how can i lead such a life. Oh God! My life is hell.

Let's look at the other way round. In this dull life when suddenly a dashing young fellow joins my office, i say "wow this is life", when one day the stern uncle sitting in front of me gives me a sweet smile i feel he is the sweetest person, when once i am upset  and controlling my tears and my colleagues shares the shoulder of a friend and try to make me laugh, that moment i feel i am the luckiest one, when suddenly in the morning i see my Eod response as "awesome" i feel  i am in the top of the world, when some one in the team brings sweet from his home i can feel as i am around family and mostly when someday i buy gifts for my mom and dad with my own earning, the spark i see in their eyes, my heart speaks out "to see that 1 minute spark in my parents eyes, i can live a life time of such 9 hours."

I always see first the suffering side of my life and i am sure most of you guys too do the same. I tried to see it in a different way and to tell you the truth it feels great. I tried to color my 9 hours with these colorful thoughts. And now i can say my 9 hours of a day are not that bad, i can say quite good. I can even say very good. Yes i love my life now because i have found a better way to look at it.

It seems as if i am the most saddest person in the planet

A very bad topic to start one's blog but everything is silly with me and this one is a resultant. Sometimes it happen. You feel as if you are the most upset and unwanted creature in this world. I am undergoing the same feeling today. My mind says what i am feeling is wrong because i have many people around who care for me and love me a lot. But upset days are very stubborn ones too. I am not listening to my mind. I am dying to listen a sad song and cry for hours and make my eyes red and swell. Wishing to eat hundreds of chocolates and thus turn out all the depressions into calories. It seems as if today is the most saddest day of my life and i am the most miserable person in the planet. Devoid of all happiness, i am surviving lonely. It is funny but true, when you are upset you become more poetic. At least i do. Below is therefore a poetic something crying out my emotions with each and every letters.

"The world was a Paradise and i was God's favorite child,
Among the Angels i was the Princess,
Pampered and loved, that was me
Until the destruction day came
My Angels left and everything went wrong
No more a Princess i am,
No more loved me is

Lonely in this world

I crave for happiness

A tint of smile and a ocean of tears,

Is this life or is this fate?

questions and questions...

where the answers are?

The answer is a question itself Destination is no where it seems

My heart cries...not for me

But for loneliness of itself

My lines will go on.......

But i want to stop.

Where to find the end stop?

There is no end to my lines

And there is no end to my miseries......."

Waiting to write with a happier tone next time!